


Pegasus

by catfishofoldin99colours



Category: Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, I just thought it was neat, Pining, also helena is a sweetheart and a softie fight me on that too, also it may read as a joke in here but i sincerely mean when i say it: fuck cops, helena is a massive nerd and loves the stars, helena is also autistic fight me, helena is also awkward but like. not worried about it that's just Her, i know nothing about northern hemisphere stars and had to wing all of that, i want more of renee and dinah being buds as well like as a general thing pls, im gonna stop writing before i just put the whole fuckin story in the tags hjgfdksl, mentions of drinking, pining dinah, pining dinah is good dinah, renee is a good pal even if she's kinda prickly and a little drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:09:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22949875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catfishofoldin99colours/pseuds/catfishofoldin99colours
Summary: A chilly rooftop evening, half a bottle of brandy down her throat, and the entire sky mapped out above. Not what Dinah imagined when she'd first thought of kissing Helena, but she's not one to argue with the universe like that.
Relationships: Helena Bertinelli/Dinah Lance
Comments: 28
Kudos: 253





	Pegasus

**Author's Note:**

> i saw birds of prey and just went feral (jurnee smollett-belle and mary elizabeth winstead Awakened Something in me)

It’s a cool, calm night over the city of Gotham, and for once the perpetual fog that hangs like cheap tinsel in the sky has taken a holiday, leaving the night sky clear and open. Of course this means there’s almost no heat left in the air, cool breeze bearing down on the murky, ramshackle buildings and sending goose-bumps running up every bare patch of skin in existence – but it makes the lights look prettier than they have in a long time.

And as Dinah takes another swig from the brandy Renee passes her, the burning alcohol heating up her blood against the cold, she thinks the city looks prettier than it has in a while. Maybe prettier than she’s ever known it to be.

Of course, that’s all a matter of perspective. Up on the rooftop of a swanky apartment building, located way back in the Rosebush Hills of Gotham, it’s very easy to look over the whole city from a distance and think it looks nice. It’s easy to say Gotham has a certain charm to it when you’re not one of the suckers stuck in the slums and alleyways, starving and lonely and cold, fighting for scraps and always on the lookout so you don’t get raped or killed. When you live like queens, when your stomach and kitchen are full from decent food, when you’ve got some fucking central heating and a warm bed to sleep in, it’s easy to gloss over everyone else’s issues and just coo at the pretty lights down below.  
She used to wonder how Roman ever did it, all those years in a decked-out warehouse with expensive clothes and wine and meals he never finished.

Not anymore, she doesn’t.

That’s why they do this – the vigilante thing, the ‘kicking shitty people in the face so innocents won’t get hurt’ thing, the fucking Birds of Prey thing (however cheesy she still thinks that sounds). So people like her, and Harley, and Cassie and Renee and thousands more, don’t have to live in the bullshit conditions that make up the slums of Gotham, don’t have to fight to survive and can actually sleep at night, knowing there’s fewer predators and awful dipshits on the streets after them. Maybe they won’t all get swanky glitzy apartments payed for by Old Italian Family money, but at least they’ll be able to look after themselves a little better if there’s not scumbag billionaires and businessmen hoarding all the taxes anymore.

It’s not a calling she thought she wanted in life, but it’s something she’s proud to be doing, and knows that it’s needed, no matter how many times they butt heads with the law (it’s not like they’re doing much to help, anyway).

Still, the change of scenery is a nice one all the same. It’s been a long time since Dinah’s felt this… peaceful.

‘What a view, hey.’ Renee says, probably quoting some old cop drama from the eighties again. Dinah just nods her head, and takes the brandy back for another sip.

They’ve been out here for hours, shivering and drinking and occasionally talking long into the night, for no reason other than it’s nice to get outside every now and again. Renee had a bottle of brandy that she shared with no one but herself and occasionally Dinah on nights like this, and they’d been steadily making their way through it as they swapped stories and enjoyed each other’s company. Dinah still isn’t sure if she’d call them proper friends, but Renee’s company is different to anyone else’s – quiet, unassuming, born of the same tough skin Dinah has grown up in and familiar with its struggles and hardships.

Maybe that’s why she feels like Renee is the right person to be with when she says it.

‘I think I’m in love.’

The words tumble out quietly, gently, easily, no more a declaration than the city being gorgeous at night or the evening air being cold. Renee takes another swig of the brandy and smacks her lips.

‘Shit, girl. How long?’ she asks. Dinah shrugs.

‘Not long.’

Truthfully, she’d only figured it out that morning, and spent the better part of the day having a mild to severe crisis over it, but she isn’t about to let Renee know that. Renee, for her part, just sighs through her nose, and looks at her.

‘How bad?’ she asks. Dinah only see the tiny quirk of a smile when she turns to look, and rolls her eyes as soon as she recognises it, which makes Renee laugh.

‘Oh, shit, hun, you got it _bad_!’ she giggles. Dinah ignores her as she pulls her knee against her chest and turns into it, willing the heat in her cheeks to cool.

Renee keeps giggling, annoyingly uninhibited by the alcohol in her system.

‘Wow, who’d a’thought you’d get heart-eyes for someone, huh. Maybe there is a heart under all that…’ she sways slightly, thinking of the word.

‘Stone cold bitchiness?’

‘…Hair.’ Renee declares, lined face cracking in a smile when Dinah just stares at her.

‘You’re the worst.’ She sighs, turning back to the cityscape below. Renee smacks her shoulder.

‘Hey, you don’t wanna talk to me ‘bout it, that’s fine. Go find the other girls if you’re so desperate for some counsellin.’ She says.

‘Oh, sure, cos Harley’s such a level head of comfort and wisdom.’ Dinah drawls sarcastically.

‘Hey, the bitch has a PhD. S’fuckin psycho, but she’s got a PhD.’ Renee argues.

‘Yeah, for analysing the criminally insane.’ Dinah counters.

‘Eh, I reckon we can pass off ‘heart-eyes’ as criminally insane for you. Or at least insane, anyway- hey!’ Renee yelps as Dinah swiftly punches her in the shoulder, sending the smaller woman reeling backwards and almost hitting the ground before she steadies herself.

‘Forget I said anything. Before I break both your kneecaps.’ She huffs.

‘I’d like to see you try, songbird.’ Renee huffs back. There’s an awkward silence as she rights herself again, placing the nearly empty brandy bottle behind them.

‘Seriously though. Why me?’ she asks. Dinah blinks at her, confused.

‘Why tell me? You know I’m a thousand years old, I ain’t no good at this…’ she gestures between them, hand flapping.

‘Feelings bullshit?’ Dinah offers.

‘Feelings bullshit, yeah.’ Renee says, snapping her fingers. ‘I mean I know Quinn’s kinda nuts and Cassie’s like… ten.’

‘Sixteen.’ Dinah corrects.

‘Whatever. What about Helena? She’s got a good head on her shoulders, why not… oh.’ Renee says, face lighting up with realisation. She looks to Dinah, and nods knowingly. Dinah just stares at her.

‘That. That makes sense.’ Renee says, nodding to herself.

‘Yeah.’ Dinah agrees, and goes back to gazing at the city, unwilling to voice the nature of her feelings in the open and not sure what she’d even say anyway.

A few seconds of quiet pass between them, the sounds of the city, traffic and sirens wailing beneath, a helicopter droning above and the wind keening through the buildings.

‘You gonna tell her?’ Renee asks, her voice quieter in that not-quite-kind-but-not-stern-ex-cop way she reserves for serious moments. Like this one. Dinah shrugs, not looking at her.

‘Dunno.’ She says.

‘…Right.’ And something about Renee’s voice, her certain and decided tone, makes Dinah snap her head up and look at her accusingly.

‘What?’ she asks. Renee shrugs, the barest hint of a knowing smile on her face.

‘What?’

‘…Why’d you say it like that?’ Dinah asks, eyes narrowed at the other woman.

‘Say it like what?’ she responds, smile now very obviously there.

‘…Like you know what I’m thinking.’

‘Don’t I, though? I’m a cop, I’m good at reading people.’ She smirks. Dinah scowls.

‘Fuck cops.’ She says, and goes back to resting her head on her knee. Renee doesn’t say anything for a bit.

‘I know that tone. That’s what I meant.’ She says. Dinah doesn’t respond, but does tilt her head to look at her, expecting a more thorough explanation. Renee smiles at her, softer and a little more understanding, like she’s passing on a secret.

‘I know that ‘dunno’, Dinah. Been there, said that, didn’t ask the girl out either. I know you’re scared.’ She says, nodding to herself.

‘I’ve dated women before, Renee. I’m not twelve.’ Dinah snaps. Renee just shrugs.

‘Yeah, but are you gonna do anything about Helena?’ she says, turning to Dinah with a knowing look on her face. Dinah doesn’t have anything to respond with that isn’t a lie or makes her feel vulnerable, so she doesn’t say anything.

‘See. I know what you’re thinking.’ Renee says, like she’s won an argument. Dinah is really beginning to regret saying anything to her.

‘You don’t know shit about me.’ she says, and turns away.

Again, silence reigns. The atmosphere of the night has gone from friendly and easy to rather uncomfortable, and Dinah kind of wishes Renee would go to bed and leave her alone in her thoughts.

‘It’s ok to be scared, y’know.’ Renee says gently. Dinah huffs a sigh, already tired of where this is heading. There’s a shuffle behind her as Renee shifts.

‘I mean it.’ She says. ‘I… I’m no good at this feelings bullshit, yeah, but I’ve been there and done that, with other women, and I get it, y’know?’ she says gently. Something about the way she says it, the way her voice, slurred and lopsided with alcohol, reaches out and brushes against her, an olive branch if ever there was one… something makes Dinah turn back, face Renee again, and listen.

‘I, uh…’ Renee stammers, the sudden scrutiny of Dinah’s attention making her jumble in place, ‘…I know you’re nervous. You have every right to be. And I know I’m the last person you should be takin’ advice from, but, if you’ll hear me…’ she says, looking to Dinah for confirmation, who nods once.

‘If you want something with Helena, don’t wait too long. Don’t wait at all, if you can help it. But don’t rush it, either. Nothing worse than that, trust me, you gotta take your time with this. Just.’ she swallows. ‘Don’t wait so long that you regret it, ok?’ she finishes, looking at Dinah with shining, wet eyes.

Dinah’s confused, and blinks.

‘Um.’ She says. ‘Thanks?’ she’s not sure why Renee’s telling her this, like some line out of a cheesy – oh god, she’s re-enacting whatever 80s romcom movie fits this scenario. Probably all of them.

‘Renee, I’m not some kinda ticking clock here. I’m not terminal, and neither is she.’ She says.

‘Maybe not, but we do dangerous work, hun. Good work, but dangerous. And I know you got that wicked voice, but you’re as human and breakable as the rest of us. And so is Helena.’ Renee says, tone serious, and Dinah realises she wasn’t trying to pull her leg again.

‘Look.’ Renee says, patting Dinah’s leg gently, ‘I know you’re not stupid. You have more brains than the rest o’ us put together, you and Helena. I know you’re safe out there, it’s just. Things happen, ok? Shit gets real, and it gets real fast, and you don’t have some sort’a calendar that’ll tell you when it’s gonna hit the fan. You don’t know which day’s gonna be your last, so if you want something to happen, you gotta make sure you say so, and soon, ok? Don’t leave it so long that you regret it.’ she says, voice breaking just the tiniest bit. Dinah gets the idea that maybe Renee is speaking from experience.

She takes a deep breath, and nods.

‘Ok.’ she says. Renee nods at her as well, and smiles.

‘Seriously. I know you’re scared, but this kinda shit is worth taking a chance for. Trust me.’ she says.

‘I…’ Dinah doesn’t know what to say. ‘I don’t even know if she likes women.’ She mumbles quietly.

Renee actually cackles.

‘Please, her? Miss bob-cut, combat boots and eyeliner thicker than a steel safe? Yeah, she’s gay.’ She smirks. Dinah just shrugs, unsure.

‘This isn’t your day anymore, Renee. Lesbian fashion is different than what it used to be.’ She says, not sure why she’s arguing. Renee snorts, and looks at her with her eyebrows raised.

‘Dinah, look me in the eye and tell me I’m straight. I dare you.’ She smirks, and Dinah rolls her eyes.

‘That doesn’t work, I know you’re not.’

‘Yeah but do I _look_ straight to you?’ Renee presses, and Dinah has to admit, between the graphic t-shirt, leather jacket and distressed jeans, Renee doesn’t look like she’s dressed to attract the male gaze in the slightest.

‘…No.’ she admits, and Renee smiles victoriously.

‘Still got it.’ she grins

‘Who’s got it?’ another voice says behind them both, and Dinah turns to see Helena walking up the stairway to the rooftop. She’s dressed in a black tank top and sweatpants, muscular arms hanging loosely by her sides while her hair, freshly washed and still damp, swings unbrushed and unbothered around her head. She’s not wearing any eyeliner, which makes sense because she’s in her sleepwear and just had a shower by the looks of it, and it makes her face look softer, pale skin less striking in the darkness.

‘Canary. She’s hot.’ Renee says almost immediately, making any words that were on Dinah’s tongue fall flat, as she turns to look at her quizzically.

‘Yeah girl, you know it.’ Renee says and smiles, Dinah catching on much too late as the older woman stands up and starts heading to the stairs.

‘I’m beat, gonna hit the hay. G’night, Dinah, ‘lena. Don’t do anything crazy.’ She smiles, patting Helena’s shoulder as she leaves. Dinah just catches a cheeky wink from her before she descends the stairs and leaves them, alone, on the rooftop, together.

This is fine.

‘Night, Renee.’ Helena says, a little befuddled but sweet all the same. God, she’s so fucking sweet, and kind, and gentle. She’s all the things too good for this world, wrapped up in a gorgeous tall body with a killer smile and amazingly pretty eyes.

Helena sits down on the rooftop with her, and Dinah feels her breath leave her chest.

‘Hey.’ The huntress smiles. Dinah manages what feels like a grimace back.

‘Hey.’ She croaks.

‘You stargazing, or something?’ Helena asks, nodding upwards to the sky, which Dinah had not even bothered to look at until now.

‘Uh, yeah. Something like that.’ She replies. Helena smiles, and tilts her head back to gaze upwards, exposing her long, pale throat that gracefully dips into smooth, broad shoulders.

‘Really clear night, huh?’ she says.

‘Mm.’ Dinah responds intelligently. For a while, Helena stays silent, gazing at the myriad stars that are reflected in her shining eyes, attention caught by something so brilliantly powerful and far away, something too impossibly far to reach. Dinah sits and thinks about how close they are to each other, and how the tiny distance feels equal to the distance of the stars from Helena’s gaze.

‘Oh wow, you can even see Pegasus from here!’ the tall woman says suddenly, looking at Dinah with a bright smile and pointing upwards. ‘Look, up there. How cool is that?’ she grins. Dinah knows absolutely jack shit about space, and even less about constellations – which she assumes is what Helena can see – and looks up with a searching eye, not having a clue what she’s supposed to see.

‘Pretty cool.’ She agrees all the same. 

‘Usually you can’t see it that well over here.’ Helena says softly.

‘Cos of the clouds?’ Dinah asks.

‘Well, that doesn’t help, no. But usually the angle of the earth makes it blend in super well to the other stars around it, so it’s hard to see it properly. And it’s technically only half a constellation anyway. I mean, it’s kind of hard to find the front legs of a horse when it’s part of a globular cluster.’ Helena laughs to herself as if this is funny, but her expression flattens when she notices Dinah hasn’t said anything.

‘Sorry. I, uh, I just really like stars.’ She says quietly.

‘Oh, no, it’s fine!’ Dinah rushes, desperate to not upset her. ‘I’m just… kinda buzzed, that’s all. Brain is slowing down.’ She smiles, making a face like she’s the dorkiest grade-school kid in the world.

It makes Helena smile though, so it’s not all that bad. The taller woman nods, and turns back to the sky.

‘It is pretty cool that you can see it, though. Pegasus, yeah?’ Dinah adds, still with no idea which pattern of stars she’s supposed to be looking at but determined not to let Helena feel bad about her interests.

‘Yeah. I haven’t seen Pegasus since I left Italy, honestly. I miss seeing his wings.’ She says, and Dinah remembers very suddenly that Pegasus is a winged horse from Greek mythology, and not just a name of some star patterns in the sky.

‘Yeah, I bet. He’s, uh, he’s got some good ones.’ She adds. Things are getting a bit much, so she takes the leftover brandy bottle and swigs it, letting the more concentrated dregs coat her tongue and calm her nerves. Helena chuckles slightly, and then pries the bottle out of her hands, lifting it to her own lips and swallowing down the rest. She keeps her gaze on Dinah the whole time, calm and even and steady, and Dinah feels like an entire star is exploding in her chest.

‘Wow. You and Renee really cleaned that brandy up fast.’ She says, looking at the bottle a little worriedly once it’s finished. Dinah shrugs.

‘Her idea. I don’t ask, I just drink it.’ she smiles, and Helena nods.

She turns back to the sky, leaning back on her hands as she looks upwards. Dinah keeps her gaze on her.

‘So,’ she starts, as casually as she can, ‘you like astronomy?’ she asks. Helena nods, smiling.

‘Mm-hm. My brothers – well, adoptive brothers – taught me about the stars when I was growing up with them, had a telescope and everything. Showed me all kinds of things, it was really cool.’ She smiles, and fuck, Dinah really loves that smile.

‘Including Pegasus.’ She smiles back, Helena’s infectious cheerful attitude impossible to ignore.

‘Well, maybe I was a bit of a mythology kid as well…’ she concedes.

‘Hey, every kid has one ‘ology’ thing they like.’ Dinah says.

‘Yeah. Guess mine were astronomy and mythology. Astro-ology!’ she says, and then knits her eyebrows together as she realises her mistake. ‘Wait no. That’s already a thing.’ Her adorable confused face, the apparent adoration of stars and Greek myths, how easily she confuses two words to make something that’s entirely not the right one… it’s all too much for Dinah, and she ends up snorting to herself in an effort to hide her brimming emotions.

‘What?’ Helena asks, sounding mildly offended but not really.

‘Nothin’. Dinah replies, playing with some grit on the concrete rooftop. ‘S’just. Nothing. You’re adorable.’ She says, quickly, looking back up and smiling at Helena.

Helena gives her an odd look. Something calculating and careful, but not wary or skittish. Dinah doesn’t know what to make of it, and she barely has time to think about what it means, when Helena smiles and ducks her head.

‘Speaking of astrology, actually, my horoscope today said I should take a chance on something. Can I kiss you?’ she says, and Dinah’s world spins.

‘Um.’ She says, frozen in place. There’s a beat of silence as she tries to remember how to breathe.

‘…If you don’t want to, that’s ok.’ she says quietly. Dinah looks at her, at her quiet, unassuming face, gentle blue eyes trained for aiming and shooting, now soft and searching for an answer.

‘Fuck.’ she whispers under her breath, and quickly pulls Helena in to crash their lips together. Helena makes a surprised noise in her throat, before she easily gives under Dinah’s rough movements. Dinah is drunk and sloppy and has only half an idea what she’s doing, but Helena is gentle and responsive, twisting her head so their lips fit together easily, her hands coming up to gently brush the underside of Dinah’s jaw and hold her steady. It’s a welcome presence, as Dinah’s heart pounds in her throat, blood roaring in her ears, hand wound tightly into Helena’s thick black hair for fear she’ll lose her grip on reality.

Helena is warm and close, her breath hot against Dinah’s face, body heat bridging the gap between them both as Dinah pulls her closer, ever closer, kissing her like she’s drowning and Helena’s the only person who can give her air.

Eventually, they pull apart, and Dinah wonders if this has ruined everything.

‘…I think that was a yes?’ Helena breathes, question genuine.

Dinah can’t help it – she laughs. Just starts chuckling and giggling against her, hands wound against her neck and shoulders shaking as she snorts. Helena laughs as well, albeit a bit awkwardly, bringing her hands up to rest against Dinah’s wrists, skin warm and voice like liquid silver.

‘I don’t know a goddamn thing about the stars.’ Dinah confesses, and kisses Helena again, harder and stronger, the full spectrum of human emotion bubbling up inside and spilling into her kisses. Helena manages to break away briefly for air.

‘That horoscope came to me like a month ago.’ She says, and Dinah laughs again as she kisses her once more.

A chilly rooftop evening, half a bottle of brandy down her throat, and the entire sky mapped out above. Not what Dinah imagined when she’d first thought of kissing Helena, but she's not one to argue with the universe like that.

**Author's Note:**

> don't get me wrong, i love and adore helena being awkward and in love with dinah, but like. pls consider, if you will. pining dinah. awkward dinah who's closed off and skeptical and hasn't had a proper relationship with a human for actual years because people just suck. dinah who's crushing HARD on her friend and teammate and has no fucking idea what to do with any of it and so her solution is to get drunk on top of the roof and just y e a r n.  
> thank you for coming to my ted talk and i hope you enjoyed 
> 
> come find me on tumblr here (https://catfishofoldin99colours.tumblr.com/) i need more people to scream about these two with pls <3


End file.
